There’s something in the water…
A few weeks ago, we had a gathering of some of The Real Farmwives in Indianapolis. While we were all together, we had a surprise baby shower for two of our expectant moms. We were all supposed to bring our favorite baby books to help our friends start their babies’ libraries.
Needless to say, as a non-mom, I’m a bit inexperienced in this category.
I was in Evansville doing some shopping in this plaza before I had to head to Indianapolis, and thought I could kill two birds with one stone.
Borders used to be in this plaza, and I’m way more comfortable here than in the store I actually headed into, but sadly they are no longer.
I went from suit shopping a few doors down into this craziness.
Holy (expletive). Can you say “deer in the headlights”?
I walked in, and it was all bright white fluorescent lighting and row after row of light pastels and white… I’m not even sure what I was looking at. Clothes, stroller, diapers, and some other crazy things on display.
Do moms really need all this stuff? Holy cow!
(I tried to take some photos of the interior of the store to share my experience. The manager stopped me, and made me delete the photos I had taken. So I guess I’ll have to be a better writer to explain how overwhelmed this store made me feel.)
I glanced at the baby registry to the right of the entrance and shuddered. I took a deep breath, and headed deeper into the store. I saw racks of cards and gift wrap, and thought that surely the books would be near the other paper products.
Not so much.
I headed deeper into the store and saw racks of “bedding coordinates.” Really? For cribs? I thought these kinds of things were for grown-ups? Didn’t I register for bedding coordinates when we got married?
My heart started to pound, and my palms started to sweat. I’m lost in the bowels of the baby store! All I need is a couple of books! How is this so hard?! I was about to have a panic attack!
Finally, I found someone who worked there. This poor guy, I don’t know what he was doing working there in the first place. He looked just as out of place as I was. I walked up to him, a look of desperation on my face. He took a couple of steps back, afraid of what this crazy lady was after.
“I am so out of my element in this store… Do you have books? Where are the books? Please?”
He showed me back to the front of the store, right next to the entrance, hiding behind the baby registry desk.
I went all the way to the back of that store for nothing?!?
Okay, rack of books… Breathe… This I can manage… A much smaller selection than I would have had to deal with at a “regular” bookstore, so this is better.
I figured that I I knew the titles, so did all the moms. And that probably meant that someone else would give our expectant moms these books.
Okay, cross those off my list… Now what?
Someone from the baby registry desk noticed me lurking and asked if she could help me.
“I’m going to a baby shower, and I’m supposed to bring my favorite baby books as gifts, but I don’t have any babies, so I don’t have any favorite books.” I gushed out. “Please help me?”
She pointed me to these books. Soft covers, cardboard pages, less well-known titles. Good for bedtime reading. Perfect.
Phew! Back to the paper section to grab some wrapping paper, and I was out of there!
I managed to get the books and get out of Babies R Us without having a panic attack, or a heart attack. But it was close.
In retrospect, I wish I had gone to Barnes and Noble down the road.
I’m definitely not ready to do this for myself. My heart is pounding just while I’m reliving this experience from the safety of my own home. (It’s possible that it’s the extra cup of coffee I drank to get ready to write this, but not likely.)
I’m sorry, mom, I know I’m 34 (gulp), but I’m not ready for this. You’re just going to have to wait a little longer to be a grandmother.
Have you had a similar shopping experience?